This beautiful short silent film is up for an Oscar this year.
Please take a look at at. This film, to me, represents exactly what I want to do with my short films.
I laughed, I cried, and I fell in love. Hope you do too.
The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore
Friday, January 27, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
Success
If you knew you would never become a "success" (by our society's popular definition) would you still be doing what you are doing now?
This Tinsel town is a place I love to hate and also just plain love. On a daily basis I run into people who have packed their bags the week before and headed toward this city of their dreams. Met people who have actually said "my dream is to become the next Paris Hilton/Kardashian"(I barf silently to myself). People who want to become famous for the sake of being famous shop for groceries side by side with people who just want to create art and get it out to the world.
I can go see a silent movie, go swing dancing in a 1920's art deco building with a live swing band, see movies in the Hollywood cemetery, hear the LA Philharmonic, have a picnic under the Hollywood sign, or just curl up in my little studio apartment and know there is always something to do. However, some love the other side of Hollywood - the clubs, the premiers, the celebs, the casting couch...whatever your little starlet heart desires it's here in Hollywood.
But after reading a few blogs lately, this post specifically, I've been thinking about what I really want in life. I know that I want to make as many people happy and laugh and love life as I possibly can. To entertain and capture audiences with amazingly heart felt stories. I dream of the day I do a stand-up show to a sold out theatre, sing jazzy lounge songs in a cafe, screen my silent film to a receptive large audience, write a best-selling book of humorous essays, bring down the house after some amazing tap dance number, or make my Oscar acceptance speech.
But those things may never happen.
What I want is to resolve to be OK with that. What if over my lifetime I made a million people laugh but not all at once in packed houses - but one by one. Crack a joke to the cashier at the grocery store. Do stand-up at open mics in front of other comedians who are a tough crowd. Tap dance my heart out only in class in front of the other 2 students. Write funny stories and just post them on this blog. Post my silent film on Facebook and hope people see it. Day by day. One person at a time.
Is it success when the world pats you on the back? Or success when you go to bed and know that that day you did what made your heart happy?
To those in Hollywood - why are you here? There is no "right" or "wrong" answer - but by answering it you may find a new insight into your happiness. I want everyone to be happy and feel alive. We don't know how long we have here (we are reminded all too often). And if I could hug your right now I would...but I can't.
You are an artist. You have art living in you and around you. I hope you see that and use it today.
For those of you who want to be the next Hilton/Kardashian..... I wish I had something witty and loving to say, but I am at a loss for words. I just don't understand that world.
But for all of us who are scraping by to stay here another month - I believe today is your success.
This Tinsel town is a place I love to hate and also just plain love. On a daily basis I run into people who have packed their bags the week before and headed toward this city of their dreams. Met people who have actually said "my dream is to become the next Paris Hilton/Kardashian"(I barf silently to myself). People who want to become famous for the sake of being famous shop for groceries side by side with people who just want to create art and get it out to the world.
I can go see a silent movie, go swing dancing in a 1920's art deco building with a live swing band, see movies in the Hollywood cemetery, hear the LA Philharmonic, have a picnic under the Hollywood sign, or just curl up in my little studio apartment and know there is always something to do. However, some love the other side of Hollywood - the clubs, the premiers, the celebs, the casting couch...whatever your little starlet heart desires it's here in Hollywood.
But after reading a few blogs lately, this post specifically, I've been thinking about what I really want in life. I know that I want to make as many people happy and laugh and love life as I possibly can. To entertain and capture audiences with amazingly heart felt stories. I dream of the day I do a stand-up show to a sold out theatre, sing jazzy lounge songs in a cafe, screen my silent film to a receptive large audience, write a best-selling book of humorous essays, bring down the house after some amazing tap dance number, or make my Oscar acceptance speech.
But those things may never happen.
What I want is to resolve to be OK with that. What if over my lifetime I made a million people laugh but not all at once in packed houses - but one by one. Crack a joke to the cashier at the grocery store. Do stand-up at open mics in front of other comedians who are a tough crowd. Tap dance my heart out only in class in front of the other 2 students. Write funny stories and just post them on this blog. Post my silent film on Facebook and hope people see it. Day by day. One person at a time.
Is it success when the world pats you on the back? Or success when you go to bed and know that that day you did what made your heart happy?
To those in Hollywood - why are you here? There is no "right" or "wrong" answer - but by answering it you may find a new insight into your happiness. I want everyone to be happy and feel alive. We don't know how long we have here (we are reminded all too often). And if I could hug your right now I would...but I can't.
You are an artist. You have art living in you and around you. I hope you see that and use it today.
For those of you who want to be the next Hilton/Kardashian..... I wish I had something witty and loving to say, but I am at a loss for words. I just don't understand that world.
But for all of us who are scraping by to stay here another month - I believe today is your success.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Day One
Day one of this novel writing month. I wrote 2,095 words towards my first novel ever. But here's the interesting thing that happened. As I wrote I was inundated by my inner critic. I heard over and over things to make me not want to keep writing. Things like:
"This is so cliche!"
"You're just writing what you've read in other books"
"This is so childish/lame/boring/god awful!"
"You better not show this to anyone"
"You are wasting your time".
And other lovely things. But I kept going. As I trudged through my first few pages I kept thinking:
"I have never done this before - how could I be amazing at my first attempt?"
"You aren't born able to walk"
"You can't just jump to the top of a rock wall - you have to climb it"
"In a month I can say I wrote a novel. Beginning, middle, and end."
"I'm just making the clay so I can mold it later."
So, this has been quite an experience already. But I will continue on. Maybe that little angry critic will start to just turn into white noise.
I hope so. I'm not giving up.
At least, not on day one.
"This is so cliche!"
"You're just writing what you've read in other books"
"This is so childish/lame/boring/god awful!"
"You better not show this to anyone"
"You are wasting your time".
And other lovely things. But I kept going. As I trudged through my first few pages I kept thinking:
"I have never done this before - how could I be amazing at my first attempt?"
"You aren't born able to walk"
"You can't just jump to the top of a rock wall - you have to climb it"
"In a month I can say I wrote a novel. Beginning, middle, and end."
"I'm just making the clay so I can mold it later."
So, this has been quite an experience already. But I will continue on. Maybe that little angry critic will start to just turn into white noise.
I hope so. I'm not giving up.
At least, not on day one.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Just Hang In There!
Just in time for NaNoWriMo (starting tomorrow) I was taught some very important lessons this weekend through my new interest in rock climbing.
Things I have learned from my early beginnings as a rock climber:
Some things may seem huge and daunting and even impossible but you start with a step. A good firm foot hold, then look for a hand hold. There are times when all of your weight is on a tiny sliver of rock no wider than a dime (but it holds you safely). Sometimes you have to back up and plan your next couple steps. It's a puzzle and the joy comes from figuring it out and also in the continuing onward. This weekend, as I looked up the massive rock wall, I would not let myself back down or let my boyfriend think that I was a wuss. I will do this. I AM capable of greater things than even I can fathom. Already with just 3 days of rock climbing I have learned so much. Most importantly that I am capable of big things that look impossible at first. Oh, and always remember to enjoy the view!
So now I apply this to writing my first novel. It seems as impossible and daunting as Hell but I know I have it in me to do this. I will surprise myself if I just take that first step. There will be times of literally just hanging in there, but you keep going. No matter what, you have achieved more than when you were just starting, with your feet on the ground.
I feel so alive.
Things I have learned from my early beginnings as a rock climber:
Some things may seem huge and daunting and even impossible but you start with a step. A good firm foot hold, then look for a hand hold. There are times when all of your weight is on a tiny sliver of rock no wider than a dime (but it holds you safely). Sometimes you have to back up and plan your next couple steps. It's a puzzle and the joy comes from figuring it out and also in the continuing onward. This weekend, as I looked up the massive rock wall, I would not let myself back down or let my boyfriend think that I was a wuss. I will do this. I AM capable of greater things than even I can fathom. Already with just 3 days of rock climbing I have learned so much. Most importantly that I am capable of big things that look impossible at first. Oh, and always remember to enjoy the view!
I feel so alive.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
NaNoWriMo
I am so very excited for this to be my first year at participating in National Novel Writing Month
I've had a couple stories I've wanted to tell floating around in my head but now I'm making the commitment to write 50,000 words in one month. I'm ever so grateful (and partially dreading) having friends who are also participating and will be keeping me accountable to my commitment.
I do not know what to expect or where my story will take me, but I will be happy to finally not feel like an idiot for saying "I'm a writer" and have not much to show for it. Come December 1 I will have the first draft of my first novel done.
My hope is to make it into a possible play or screenplay, but I think this will be a great starting point.
Ok, here goes nothing!
Monday, October 10, 2011
A hazy fog of creative new births
Clarity.
There seems to be the theme I keep reading: "The universe will give you what you are seeking when you clearly know what you want"... or something to that effect. The past 6 weeks or so I have entered a thicker haze than I've been in before. Could have something to do with falling in love and being in an absolutely wonderful relationship. The kind I've always dreamed and hoped for. Suddenly all my gears that were going at high speed towards going after that "big career" have come to a slow squeaking crawl. At first I felt guilty for losing sight and motivation towards that big 'ol acting career I've been heaving and ho-ing towards. But this is life. A very rich time in my life. So I will enjoy it to it's fullest. LIVING life is what gives art it's fuel.
For 3 1/2 years here in LA I had been constantly on the move, figuring out what my path will be, what I need to do next, where to live, so many different jobs to pay rent, so many different places to pay rent, what shows to go for, who to talk to, am I getting out there enough?, how's my admin?, what did I "hit" and "miss" on my to-do list for the week?, etc. My only "vacations" were trips home for Christmas', weddings, and funerals. I didn't realize those weren't vacations until I had my first real one this last Labor Day. 3 1/2 years of work and struggle with little celebrations, and big heart breaks and no real break. I was tired. I still feel tired.
So I'm giving myself a long vacation. I'm going to put myself on a bit of hiatus from this industry hub-bub. I lost sight of what I really want in my life. I felt pushed and shoved into doing "the right thing" from good intentioned friends and mentors. And finally I've just hit a wall. There is no "right" path to fulfilling your dreams - the only "wrong" way is sitting on your hands and not doing diddly squat 'cause you're scared. There is nothing wrong with your creative path taking crazy turns. Even turns that seem to make you feel like you're going back wards. It's still on the path forward - it's just a very windy road. A month ago I took my friend Jude's stand-up comedy class and absolutely loved it. A part of me has always wanted to be a stand-up comedian. So maybe this is the time that I focus on that. I'm not a slacker or a flake for taking time off and away from scene study class. Maybe in these times of feeling unsure about what I really see myself doing in 10, 20, 30 years all I can do is listen to my heart and just please it. Whether it be taking tap dance lessons, doing open mics, staying home for an evening and playing my ukulele, having wonderful weekends filled with play and laughter with my guy and my friends. I feel that all of these are getting me closer to that big hope that I have that one day I will be able to entertain and make millions of people laugh and be happy. I want to be an entertainer. A well rounded-Jill-of-all-trades entertainer. So I guess that means letting myself go from creative outlet to creative outlet. I was designed this way. I can't just focus on one thing and do it forever. I'm always evolving and changing and finding new passions. That's what art does. It doesn't stand still.
So, although I can't give you a written down exact idea of what I want to do with my life.... I think that's who I am. Making art with each day. And making millions of people laugh...one, or ten, people at a time till the day I die.
Funny, I feel like things are looking a little clearer...
There seems to be the theme I keep reading: "The universe will give you what you are seeking when you clearly know what you want"... or something to that effect. The past 6 weeks or so I have entered a thicker haze than I've been in before. Could have something to do with falling in love and being in an absolutely wonderful relationship. The kind I've always dreamed and hoped for. Suddenly all my gears that were going at high speed towards going after that "big career" have come to a slow squeaking crawl. At first I felt guilty for losing sight and motivation towards that big 'ol acting career I've been heaving and ho-ing towards. But this is life. A very rich time in my life. So I will enjoy it to it's fullest. LIVING life is what gives art it's fuel.
For 3 1/2 years here in LA I had been constantly on the move, figuring out what my path will be, what I need to do next, where to live, so many different jobs to pay rent, so many different places to pay rent, what shows to go for, who to talk to, am I getting out there enough?, how's my admin?, what did I "hit" and "miss" on my to-do list for the week?, etc. My only "vacations" were trips home for Christmas', weddings, and funerals. I didn't realize those weren't vacations until I had my first real one this last Labor Day. 3 1/2 years of work and struggle with little celebrations, and big heart breaks and no real break. I was tired. I still feel tired.
So I'm giving myself a long vacation. I'm going to put myself on a bit of hiatus from this industry hub-bub. I lost sight of what I really want in my life. I felt pushed and shoved into doing "the right thing" from good intentioned friends and mentors. And finally I've just hit a wall. There is no "right" path to fulfilling your dreams - the only "wrong" way is sitting on your hands and not doing diddly squat 'cause you're scared. There is nothing wrong with your creative path taking crazy turns. Even turns that seem to make you feel like you're going back wards. It's still on the path forward - it's just a very windy road. A month ago I took my friend Jude's stand-up comedy class and absolutely loved it. A part of me has always wanted to be a stand-up comedian. So maybe this is the time that I focus on that. I'm not a slacker or a flake for taking time off and away from scene study class. Maybe in these times of feeling unsure about what I really see myself doing in 10, 20, 30 years all I can do is listen to my heart and just please it. Whether it be taking tap dance lessons, doing open mics, staying home for an evening and playing my ukulele, having wonderful weekends filled with play and laughter with my guy and my friends. I feel that all of these are getting me closer to that big hope that I have that one day I will be able to entertain and make millions of people laugh and be happy. I want to be an entertainer. A well rounded-Jill-of-all-trades entertainer. So I guess that means letting myself go from creative outlet to creative outlet. I was designed this way. I can't just focus on one thing and do it forever. I'm always evolving and changing and finding new passions. That's what art does. It doesn't stand still.
So, although I can't give you a written down exact idea of what I want to do with my life.... I think that's who I am. Making art with each day. And making millions of people laugh...one, or ten, people at a time till the day I die.
Funny, I feel like things are looking a little clearer...
Thursday, September 1, 2011
The Art of Acting Does Not Stand Still
I'm almost done reading Year of the King by Antony Sher. Quite inspiring and helpful on my journey as an actor and digging deeper into the art of acting.
A couple quotes that have really stuck out to me are: "People have less emotions than actors think they have. For much of the time we hide our emotions, we haven't time for emotions. Our brains work so much faster than our emotions." This was said by the RSC voice coach Ciss Berry.
But this one really struck me: "Acting is just your view of other people. It must keep changing as you do, growing with you, improving as you learn more. Of all the arts it is the most human. So it must never stand still."
All too often I want to be an Olympian actor. One of the greatest. I'm only 27 years old. Why do I feel so behind in my craft? There is an unending tape that plays in my head - like a ticker tape saying "You're just an amateur. You don't even have a real degree in acting!" This can be crippling as well as helpful. Crippling if I continue to believe it and just slump over and give up. Believing I will only ever do community theatre for the rest of my life (by the way - that is fine if that's what you want to do. And I applaud all of my dear friends that do back home. But that is not what I want for myself).
Or I could use it as fuel to keep working. I've begun going into the theatre for an hour every morning before work at the studio where I take my scene study classes (here: http://www.stuartrogersstudios.com/ ). I'm not a gym person, but the theatre is my gym. My playground. I go in, do my physical and vocal warm-ups and begin work on a new monologue. My goal is to have a handful of strong and wide range of monologues so I will be more than ready when the time comes. I have my eyes on the professional theatre companies here in LA and also the auditions for regional and touring companies.
Sometimes you can get lost in the romanticism of art and being an artist. You believe you have this wonderful talent and that you will be able to call on it when the time comes. But it's like a muscle, if it's not in fine form you will more than likely pull something and hurt yourself... or fall on your face when that big opportunity arrives. I want to be ready. I want my muscles for auditioning to be so toned and strong that even with all my nerves and excitement those muscles will kick in and take care of me.
This takes time. Time. TIME!!
I'm a sprinter by nature so this is something I'm having to continually remind myself of. I want everything to work now! I want to take all these wonderful workshops and classes. But rent comes first. So I have to put all of my faith in God's own perfect timing. If I don't get to take that really awesome commercial workshop that I know will be a good investment and super helpful this month - it will not be a tragedy. Perhaps I can take it next month. Who knows, maybe there are the perfect people in that class for me to meet in the next month's class as opposed to right now.
You don't know what tomorrow holds. You don't know what today even holds!
So, I have my goals. What I dream of. Those are always in the back of my mind but I need to breathe and just take in this moment. This moment right now. Live and enjoy that moment of working on my monologue, or the play I'm reading, or the conversation I'm having with someone.
I wish I was better at this. I'm always 5 steps ahead.
I'm trying to remember something I heard in class the other night: You only have right now, this moment, on stage. Live it fully.
Let the play take me for a ride. Let life take me for a ride.
Ease my white gripping knuckles off the controls and see what happens. Trust that there is an amazing journey ahead of me. One better than I can even construct. Let myself grow and learn and rejoice in each new lesson. I am proud to be a beginner. A hopeful child in this theatre world.
A couple quotes that have really stuck out to me are: "People have less emotions than actors think they have. For much of the time we hide our emotions, we haven't time for emotions. Our brains work so much faster than our emotions." This was said by the RSC voice coach Ciss Berry.
But this one really struck me: "Acting is just your view of other people. It must keep changing as you do, growing with you, improving as you learn more. Of all the arts it is the most human. So it must never stand still."
All too often I want to be an Olympian actor. One of the greatest. I'm only 27 years old. Why do I feel so behind in my craft? There is an unending tape that plays in my head - like a ticker tape saying "You're just an amateur. You don't even have a real degree in acting!" This can be crippling as well as helpful. Crippling if I continue to believe it and just slump over and give up. Believing I will only ever do community theatre for the rest of my life (by the way - that is fine if that's what you want to do. And I applaud all of my dear friends that do back home. But that is not what I want for myself).
Or I could use it as fuel to keep working. I've begun going into the theatre for an hour every morning before work at the studio where I take my scene study classes (here: http://www.stuartrogersstudios.com/ ). I'm not a gym person, but the theatre is my gym. My playground. I go in, do my physical and vocal warm-ups and begin work on a new monologue. My goal is to have a handful of strong and wide range of monologues so I will be more than ready when the time comes. I have my eyes on the professional theatre companies here in LA and also the auditions for regional and touring companies.
Sometimes you can get lost in the romanticism of art and being an artist. You believe you have this wonderful talent and that you will be able to call on it when the time comes. But it's like a muscle, if it's not in fine form you will more than likely pull something and hurt yourself... or fall on your face when that big opportunity arrives. I want to be ready. I want my muscles for auditioning to be so toned and strong that even with all my nerves and excitement those muscles will kick in and take care of me.
This takes time. Time. TIME!!
I'm a sprinter by nature so this is something I'm having to continually remind myself of. I want everything to work now! I want to take all these wonderful workshops and classes. But rent comes first. So I have to put all of my faith in God's own perfect timing. If I don't get to take that really awesome commercial workshop that I know will be a good investment and super helpful this month - it will not be a tragedy. Perhaps I can take it next month. Who knows, maybe there are the perfect people in that class for me to meet in the next month's class as opposed to right now.
You don't know what tomorrow holds. You don't know what today even holds!
So, I have my goals. What I dream of. Those are always in the back of my mind but I need to breathe and just take in this moment. This moment right now. Live and enjoy that moment of working on my monologue, or the play I'm reading, or the conversation I'm having with someone.
I wish I was better at this. I'm always 5 steps ahead.
I'm trying to remember something I heard in class the other night: You only have right now, this moment, on stage. Live it fully.
Let the play take me for a ride. Let life take me for a ride.
Ease my white gripping knuckles off the controls and see what happens. Trust that there is an amazing journey ahead of me. One better than I can even construct. Let myself grow and learn and rejoice in each new lesson. I am proud to be a beginner. A hopeful child in this theatre world.
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