Today's theme for Teller Tales: Clorox and Kermit
There is this lady that comes into the bank usually at about 5:50pm. Not often, but at least a few times a month. She is a sweet older lady. Her back is hunched some and her hands crippled with arthritis. The only thing I do not look forward to about her visits is this: She tends to heave a heavy sigh after each sentance. I don't know how or why she does this but somehow as she sighs she curls her lips in a fashion that directs her deadly breath right into my face. I try so hard not to breath in. Coming up with clever ways to look away and breath in. But with out fail I get a few puffs in.
Thank goodness she's not like the people that come up to my window and hack, cough and sneeze in my face. "doh, I'm sorry. I have a sduffy dose. I wend do da doctor's but he said to just take id easy." Really? did he tell you to stay away from the healthy public? That would be some good advice too.
Now with the cold/flu season in full force I go through a can of lysol a week. Those Clorox wipes are attached to my hip. One sheet a customer. My usual statement after a "sicky" leaves is "I'm sorry, I'm just trying to keep you healthy. Please wait while this window is being sanitized."
One of my more entertaining customers is "Phil". He has the most high pitched voice I've ever heard. Ok, it's not high pitch.... just piercing. While snotting all over at my window and refusing to take a kleenex he tells me of his girlfriends and how one of his girlfriends got mad at him for "touching her boobies". He talks of the beers he drinks at Applebees, how the girls he makes love to are just desperate, and asks if us girls would like to have his babies. Let me explain. This man is "not all there". He is somewhat mentally handicapped. This makes the line for things being said and possibly crossing the line a little fuzzy. I don't think he's aware of socially inapropriate things. But what the funny thing is is that his voice carries through out the whole banking center. It's almost a Kermit the frog voice. But not quite. Another one of our customers sounds EXACTLY like Kermit. So "Phil" only sounds LIKE Kermit.
You know what else I notice? How much people talk about the weather. I am SOOOO guilty of this. But if you had to talk to strangers all day and not get too involved and have only about 3 min with them what else are you going to talk about? Whatever the weather is - no one is happy. Some people want it to snow, some don't. A lot of people seem to be amazed at the amount of rain we get, they can't believe that it never stops. They are annoyed. I assume they have just moved here. No. They've lived here their whole life. My only suggestion: Move.
Perhaps next to my Kleenex, Clorox, and Lysol I should carry extra umbrellas.
Cheers.
