Just Wondering...

I've begun a new project. A sort of web series discovering Hollywood from a hopeful innocent point of view.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OHQOvZOKBs

I was on set last night for a movie. My first time on the Warner Bros. lot, and it finally felt like the old school movie making experience I was hoping for. We were using the "New York" set, but instead of it making me ache for my own staring role in a big time movie, I suddenly found myself aching to see New York.
I knew moving down to L.A that it wasn't going to be a place I wanted to settle down forever. Although, as the months passed I grew to like southern California much more than I ever thought. Still, in my heart, I knew I would never be an L.A girl, or even a Cali girl.
It could be due to work being so slow, to exhaustion from trying desperately to find ways to pay my rent and other bills, to feeling so vulnerable and burnt out, that I find myself looking for the next step.
I've been considering moving back home to regroup my thoughts and pay back my parents for their ever-so-loving financial support.
I feel I have lost sight of what I want to do with my life (granted I kow there are new chapters and directions and things continue to change), but do I really want to be in movies? What about my desire to use comedy as therapy and counseling? What about more stage acting? What about going back to school? What about...? What about?...so much.
I will always be "studying" comedy and acting. But maybe it's time for a scene change. I miss clusters of tall buildings and brooding grey skies.
It's wierd, but I feel like something is pushing me to move out. At least for awhile. Maybe it's my history of not staying anywhere longer than 2 years (and feeling antsy after 1) since I graduated.
I don't know quite how to decipher through these feelings and thoughts.
We shall see.

Boldly Going Back To My Childhood

So I watched the new Star Trek movie last night and it was so weird how certain sound effects and lines totally took me back to watching Star Trek with my parents and sis when I was younger. The rest of my family was totally into it but I just camped on the outskirts of interest most of the time. Still, I'm sure I watched almost every episode of TNG because thats what we'd watch after dinner as a family.
It's very rare that I get into "action" type movies or those "saga" films with sequels, prequels, and so ons. Star Wars does absolutely nothing for me, Lord of the Rings was fun to watch once while at the movie theatre, Harry Potter was good for the movie theatre as well. And Star Trek I can't say I know too many details about the movies - although I vividly remember the one with the whales (but that's because I was totally in my marine mammal biology phase - before I got grossed out by fish). I started liking the t.v series a little more when the character "Wesley" arrived...'cause he was cute and I was just learning about crushes.
I know the difference between Star Trek, The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, and Voyager. All seemed to be in the back ground at home. I remember my favorite character in TNG was "Q". Oh that Q, always throwing monkey wrenches in and then being witty! The show had humor and some pretty good acting and fun story lines. All this seemed to be deeply burried until last night. I didn't realize how the show was really just having fun.
So, to go along with true form and showing how history repeats itself: I'm again intrigued by Star Trek.
Oh... did I mention I have a crush on Zachary Quinto? Move over Wesley, helloooo Spock.