On Friday one of my favorite handsome regulars came in and we were joking around while I took care of his deposits. As he left he said "See that's why we can never date. You can see I have no money and you probably want a man with money to take you out." "So you're calling me a gold digger?" He just laughed and said "see you later!".
A few things went through my head: 1) Were you really thinking of asking me out?! Your waaaayyyy too good looking for me. 2)Do I look like the gold digger type? 3) How could I date someone that thought I needed a guy with money?
Sad.
In a town where money seems to be a little more expendable than time I find I'm at a loss. I'm more a quality time person than "ooh what fancy place are you taking me?" kinda girl. But I'm learning that things take way more time to develop here. I don't just mean dating. No. Friendships too. Like this town, it takes forever to get places and everything is so far spread apart. I don't mind working towards a friendship. Taking time out to drive that extra half hour to get to your place so we can have a couple hours of hanging out, playing a card game, and having a drink. I like being face to face with the person. I can only handle so many text messages, e-mails, and Facebook/Twitter updates. All those hit only a level or two deep in the person. I want to know more. I want to know you and know if something is wrong by the sound of your voice or by the way you make some facial expression. So that if any miscommunication is made, it gets fixed right away. 'Cause your right there. Right in front of the person. You can say "Wait, I don't think you know what I mean. Let me clarify...."
I know we all have crazy work schedules. M-F and 9-5 is a rarity among my friends so I understand. I'm so happy to see my friends working and getting those chances to do what they love. I think slowly but surely I'm getting there too.
I guess I'm just realizing I like to be with friends. Real connections. Real conversations. Real discussions and chances to disagree, try to understand, have awkward moments, push through them, laugh about them, and let the friendship grow.
As much as I bitch and complain about some of the people that come into the bank, I love people. Sociology is one of my biggest interests. And I want to know you. What makes you tick. What makes your heart so happy it could burst, and what do you consider the most hurtful thing? All this takes time.
I'm a walking contradiction. In this microwave era I find I have little patience a lot of the time. When I find someone that I'd like to be friends with I want to hang out a lot, just so I can know how to relate to you. And also in hopes that maybe you'll get to know me. Even my weird awkward neurotic side. I can't hide it. It's right here.
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