The Doors of Rejection

I recieved two letters in the mail today. One from North Carolina School of Performing Arts and the other from Purchase at the State University of New York. They were two skinny letters. It doesn't take too many words to say "Thanks for auditioning but we don't want you."
If anything, this just confirms my plans to move to Toronto in the late summer/ early fall. I was looking at Second City training centers again to get an idea when I need to register.
Although I feel a little deflated about my rejection I realize that this will not stop me from acting and learning to become the best actor and comedian I am possible of becoming. Perhaps society and the educational system may not be able to trace my steps of learning, but who says you need to conform to the standards? I know there have been many great actors who were told "We cannot accept you" and who didn't give up and became great. It takes hard work to become great. I will continue. It's just alittle disheartening at the moment.
On other news, the boy that broke my heart this summer suddenly came back into my life last weekend. He came over to my house and apologized for about 5 hours saying what a jerk he was and how he got scared and that he was an idiot. I couldn't help but agree with him. I thought his intentions were sincere but as the week passed and he didn't call (he is "really busy") I found myself doubting him. This is not a good start. I've already made my decision. As much as I wish we could make this work, I will not do all the sacraficing and compramising to make it convenient for him. I believe a relationship is something both people want to make the effort to work. If he was really crazy about me and wanted to get back together I believe he would find time to call, just to say "hi" or leave a wierd message or something. My guy friends show me more affection and appreciation then he has.
More than anything I wish I was wrong about him and he has a really REALLY good reason he hasn't called all week, but I have a feeling that he just isn't that into me. And frankly, I don't want my heart to be broken again... at least not by the same source. That just seems dumb.
I seem to see a lot of doors in my face. Some are shut for me and some I've had to shut. Perhaps this is all preparing me for some great next move. It's just a little difficult to see at the moment.
I hang on to what I know: God has a great plan for me, he doesn't make mediocre people with mediocre lives. He wants the best for me and sometimes the best is not the easist.
Thanks God for being good and not just nice.