Living in community has it's ups and downs. Ups being cheap rent, someone a shout away to hang out with (usually), food in the fridge, and some simple surprising pleasures here and there. However, this is not to express my love and joy from community, but point out a funny quirk I have experienced in all of my community living situations.
I am reminded of a common belief that men and women can not be friends with out at least a hint of a crush involved. I have a hard time with this. Perhaps it's just me and my nature to be drawn to friendships with guys. Sometimes I really prefer their conversations and stories. My own band of brothers I like to think of them. No crush has to be involved for me to want to spend time with them.
Living in a house of girls and having a house of guys directly across the street has had me laughing at the tagging of "yours, mine, and free game." Even if they don't mean to. If one girl or guy has dated one of the other "community members" then drama is to ensue if another "pairing" even has the appearance of beginning. This constant surveillance of each other's relationships and friendships has made me paranoid. I worry that if I hang out with a guy too long then the "wrong impression" can be made either by him or the others. Why is it so difficult to believe that there can be just plain friendships? And if a crush were to happen, at least on my side, I want that to be my own business so I can let it blow over and not ruin the beginnings of a friendship. If a relationship happens, fine, but I want it to surprise me or just happen naturally, I don't want to "look" for it or "make it happen".
So, I've stuck to going on dates with people I've met outside of the houses or just having a date with myself.
A good glass of wine, a classic movie, some pasta, and I'm content.
There's no gossip when you just date yourself....
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