The Actor's Vow

I stumbled across this after watching PBS' and Martin Scorsese's documentary about Elia Kazan. Both of these things have inspired me deeply.

Here's The Actor's Vow that Elia Kazan wrote:

I will take my rightful place on stage
and I will be myself.
I am not a cosmic orphan.
I have no reason to be timid.
I will respond as I feel;
awkwardly, vulgarly,
but respond.

I will have my throat open,
I will have my heart open,
I will be vulnerable.
I may have anything or everything
the world has to offer, but the thing
I need most, and want most,
is to be myself.

I will admit rejection, admit pain,
admit frustration, admit even pettiness,
admit shame, admit outrage,
admit anything and everything
that happens to me.

The best and most human parts of
me are those I have inhabited
and hidden from the world.
I will work on it.
I will raise my voice.
I will be heard.


And here is the link to PBS' American Masters : Elia Kazan
http://video.pbs.org/video/1947064818

A Cloudy L.A

I find I get the hankering for updating and writing on my blog on overcast days. Thankfully, today, LA is providing it's version of an early fall day and I couldn't be happier.
Since my last post so much has happened. First, I moved into my very first studio apartment. I am finally living by myself. After having 20 housemates in Ireland, 10 housemates in Camarillo, 2 roommates in Sherman Oaks, 1 roommate in East Hollywood, 2 roommates in Studio City, it is now "me time" in NoHo. Basically living in a studio apartment makes me feel like I'm just living in a really big bedroom that happens to have a kitchen and it's own bathroom - but I am truly happy (and I moved in the first of July- honeymoon's not over!).
In other news my short silent film, Dear Hollywood, is coming along nicely. We are pretty much to the final cut in editing and the music composition is going swonderfully. I love it and I am very excited to start submitting it to festivals. As soon as we have a trailer version ready I will be sure to post it here.
The acting biz is going...well, it's going. There are times, like today, when I get flustered and frustrated with all the business and administration side of acting as a profession (or in my case, turning it into a profession). I really hope the cynical and jaded side effects of living in LA are not trying to seep in. I don't want to be that way, but it gets exhausting and a little disheartening when it seems like every which way you turn you have to be thinking 3 steps ahead and is your resume up to date, are your headshots working for you? Have you been keeping up on Actors Access, LA Casting, Backstage West, and all the other sites to submit to? Bumping into acquaintances in the grocery store or the bank the conversations consist of "What have you been doing? What's next?" I'm constantly trying to find that balance of nurturing the artist I am by soaking in art and inspiration and then turning around and putting my nose to the grind and getting myself out there. It's easy to lose sight of who you are as a person and as a human being - which is so essential to being an artist.
I miss waiting in the wings for my entrance, walking the boards, rehearsing for hours in a dark dusty old theatre. Living and breathing an imagined life in front of an audience. I'm giving LA a couple more years I think and then I may have my next adventure in New York. Theatre is what I love to my very heart and soul, but I'm not done trying out acting in front of the camera. I haven't really gotten the chance to give it a go. So, let's wait and see. Learn more on the art of storytelling through film, acting in front of a camera, understand more of the industry and marketing...and then I'll go from there. Make a few more silent shorts along the way.
Perhaps I'll get a chance to do a little theatre while I'm here too. That would be quite nice.